The Fellowship Parts (page 52)
In the Wood Beyond the World, near the Well at the World’s End, enveloped by rhododendrons, the Lost Boy Digory Kirke was lingering. As he drank from the well, he could forget, for the duration of the intoxication, his guilt at not bringing his mother the silver health-bringing apples. He had done the best he could, given what he believed in at the time, and he’s not perfect, so bound to make mistakes. Even dreadfully consequential, irreversible ones. As I have done, too. Have you, as well? But Digory Kirke held himself to a high standard, and he reproached himself, endlessly, for not saving his mother when he had the opportunity. He was tormented by regret, reproach, guilt, and shame. It was a heavy burden for a lost boy. And you could see it in his frame, how he leaned against the Well at the World’s End, and drew up the clear, fragrant waters again and again, for relief, temporary and costly though it was. He felt as if there was no alternative, and his vision tunneled.
Wilhelmina Wang and Emil Hering could not persuade him to leave with them. Emil did not like to leave Digory behind, but Wilhelmina was possessed by an urgency and desperation to move on, to reach where the meer-maids sing, each to each, and seeing Digory’s rumination over the loss of his own mother electrified and terrified Wilhelmina to even higher planes. She pushed on, and Emil went with her because he had promised her, and he knew the way. He was comforted somewhat by the knowledge that Digory knew the Wood Beyond the World well, as all the Lost Boys did. Well enough, as well as the Wood allowed. For its mysteries extended endlessly. It was one of those things, between the responsibility Emil felt toward a friend, and the love he was in for a girl.
It was not the first time he was in love, not at eighteen years old. But it was the first time the love, it felt like, was returned. And Emil was in deep, as he was bound to be. As anyone would be. He had been a sweet boy, and looked darling, when he was asleep, and his unruly bright blond hair fell over his finally relaxed forehead, as the tension in his life slowly abated, for the duration of the night.